well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is wine microwaveable?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
