this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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