Duck Duck Cougar?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
