Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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