K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
