Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
