Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
