he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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