Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
