I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
