i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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