So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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