Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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