just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
A+ Viking dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
