I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
