i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize