Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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