i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
