My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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