your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
