i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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