He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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