Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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