Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
