Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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