I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
