I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
