I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
