If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
