This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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