did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
