At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
