The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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