i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
