I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
