Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
