there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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