Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude i'm inner monologue high
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
