Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
