is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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