Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
