Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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