I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
