Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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