i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
