We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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