I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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