White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
