Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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