Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
