I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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