you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
